Ed Smasher Posted April 15, 2005 Report Share Posted April 15, 2005 Well, ever see that cute blonde at the bar and want to chat her up, but freeze and your mind goes blank? Well try some of these! Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see! That dress looks nice....Of course, it'd look even better crumpled up in the corner of my room. Pardon me, is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I keep seeing myself in your pants. Screw me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen? Miss, if you've lost your virginity, could I have the box it came in? If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole? I've got a .357 pointed at your kidney, wanna go get some coffee? Hi, I'm conducting a feel test to see how many women here have pierced nipples.... You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls. Hey Baby! I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag! You know, I'd really love to screw your brains out, but it appears someone has already beat me to it. You know, you've got the prettiest teeth I've ever dreamed of coming across That's enough for now, I'll put some more up here later. Link to post Share on other sites
Major_Payne Posted April 15, 2005 Report Share Posted April 15, 2005 -"So, you're a girl huh?" -"Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?" -"My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a public place." -"Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?" Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Smasher Posted April 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 15, 2005 -"So, you're a girl huh?" -"Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?" -"My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a public place." -"Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?" <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Nice Heres 5 more ^^ Just because our computers are incompatible doesn't mean we are! I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade! Hey baby, what's your sign? All you can eat? Go up to a girl and tell her she has nice legs....then ask would she mind if you named them. She says ok, and you say ok this one is Thanksgiving and that one is Christmas.....would you mind if I visited between the holidays? Hey baby, you wanna fu*k or should I apologise? ~~ Link to post Share on other sites
Crandall Posted April 15, 2005 Report Share Posted April 15, 2005 Hey baby, does this cloth smell like cloroform? Link to post Share on other sites
ColDaz Posted April 15, 2005 Report Share Posted April 15, 2005 Omg I can't breathe from laughing so much... Link to post Share on other sites
Crandall Posted April 15, 2005 Report Share Posted April 15, 2005 Err, me? Link to post Share on other sites
Crandall Posted April 16, 2005 Report Share Posted April 16, 2005 So no one found my cloroform joke funny, eh, eh? Link to post Share on other sites
Fall_Ryan Posted April 16, 2005 Report Share Posted April 16, 2005 If you say any of those you better Link to post Share on other sites
Banzai Posted April 16, 2005 Report Share Posted April 16, 2005 i got denied, so bad today, im feeling rather emo ;( Link to post Share on other sites
DarkLite Posted April 16, 2005 Report Share Posted April 16, 2005 My favourite is: Hi there, I realise that you don't know me and I don't know you, but could you help me move something? Sure, what? Six fluid onces of semen. *SLAP!* Link to post Share on other sites
Banzai Posted April 16, 2005 Report Share Posted April 16, 2005 that only works when they cant talk anymore Link to post Share on other sites
Cinder Posted April 16, 2005 Report Share Posted April 16, 2005 So no one found my cloroform joke funny, eh, eh? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I though it was funny......... Link to post Share on other sites
screamin_weasel Posted April 16, 2005 Report Share Posted April 16, 2005 "your dad must have been a thief, cos he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes" Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Smasher Posted April 16, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 16, 2005 "your dad must have been a thief, cos he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes" <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hmm, I liked your joke Crandall So you couldn't keep away and want more eh? Hehe alright.. Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?" As long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit. There are 256 bones in the human body. How'd ya like one more? Link to post Share on other sites
DarkLite Posted April 16, 2005 Report Share Posted April 16, 2005 Lol, the "dad's a theif" one... One of my friends tried that: Him: Hi, is your Dad a thief? Her: WHAT THE F**K DID YOU SAY??!?! Him: Cos he put - Her: HOW DARE YOU F**KING TALK ABOUT MY FATHER THAT WAY!!!! Him: But- Her: F**K OFF!!! He was in tears Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Smasher Posted April 16, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 16, 2005 Lol, the "dad's a theif" one... One of my friends tried that: Him: Hi, is your Dad a thief? Her: WHAT THE F**K DID YOU SAY??!?! Him: Cos he put - Her: HOW DARE YOU F**KING TALK ABOUT MY FATHER THAT WAY!!!! Him: But- Her: F**K OFF!!! He was in tears <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Lmao! You DO know that, like power rangers, you shouldn't try these at home, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovenapalm Posted April 16, 2005 Report Share Posted April 16, 2005 Worst chat up line I ever used has to be "I'm no Fred Flintstone and I'm no Barney Rubble but I'll sure as hell make your Bedrock" absolutely awful and has never worked. Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Smasher Posted April 16, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 16, 2005 Worst chat up line I ever used has to be "I'm no Fred Flintstone and I'm no Barney Rubble but I'll sure as hell make your Bedrock" absolutely awful and has never worked. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hehe, anybody else actually try these out for sheer shock value? Link to post Share on other sites
rizzo Posted April 16, 2005 Report Share Posted April 16, 2005 "hey, word of the days is legs, wanna come round mine and spread the word?" Ok here's one for the continentals- "Hi there, have you got some Italian in you?" "err no" "Would you like some?" Link to post Share on other sites
Dafool Posted April 16, 2005 Report Share Posted April 16, 2005 "I don't know how to say this, but you are the hottest women I ever saw" "Thanks" " Do you want to hop in the bed with me ?" This is why women hate me Link to post Share on other sites
Sledge Posted April 16, 2005 Report Share Posted April 16, 2005 "Hello, I'm Dafool/HaVoC_MaN." Guaranteed to NEVER work. Link to post Share on other sites
Dafool Posted April 16, 2005 Report Share Posted April 16, 2005 " Hello I'm Sledge" *Womens smacks sledge and calls her husband* *Big body builder comes along* " You dissin me wife ? " * Punches Sledge* 5 years later *Sledge is in prison playing blues on a mouth organ* .... And remeber kids, never say Sledge again Link to post Share on other sites
Krazy L Posted April 16, 2005 Report Share Posted April 16, 2005 If you say any of those you better <{POST_SNAPBACK}> OMG I have that shirt. Link to post Share on other sites
Dafool Posted April 16, 2005 Report Share Posted April 16, 2005 I have my nuts carefully placed in a Bag Of Peanuts ! Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Smasher Posted April 16, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 16, 2005 " Hello I'm Sledge" *Womens smacks sledge and calls her husband* *Big body builder comes along* " You dissin me wife ? " * Punches Sledge* 5 years later *Sledge is in prison playing blues on a mouth organ* .... And remeber kids, never say Sledge again <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Bahahaha! But seriously Saying you're me would get you killed in 9 countries Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.