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Schnitzel with noodles - what made you smile today?


amateurstuntman

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Just to point out though.

If the thing you are cooking food on outside works by burning gas, it is not a barbecue, it is a grill.

 

It is also wrong.

 

Very wrong.

I agree. I say barbecue as a colloquial. I know it's not a real barbecue.

 

 

One of my friends had the gall to put a picture on Facebook of a few frozen burgers cooking on a gas grill with the caption "king of the barbecue".

 

Damn near unfriended him on the spot.

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My father-in-law didn't believe that I could taste the paraffin when he used fire-lighters to get his BBQ going.

 

He thought I was being melodramatic when I wouldn't eat his food.

 

So we were having a BBQ at my house and he brought his (at the time) girlfriend without telling us.  She is a vegetarian.  They didn't bring any vegetarian food with them.

I went out to get some *fruitcage* peppers or whatever and the BBQ went out, nobody topped up the coals.

 

Instead of topping it up while it was hot or using the starting chimney the fat sack of *suitcase* restarted it with paraffin fire-lighters that he brought with him (I reiterate, he brought no food - only fire lighters).

 

Anyway, I returned from the shop, had a sausage and went somewhat berserk about my ruined food.

I believe that is the point where he started believing that I can taste *fruitcage* paraffin.

 

Just breaking man rules all over the place...

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She also gets a bit pissy when I refer to prawns as sea roaches.

 

Ah well, we can't all be clever.

 

 

 

Today I completed the cheekiest 50km route I know of on my bike.

 

The weather was glorious, the bike is glorious, my new wheels are superb, everything was brilliant except me.

I am a sorry blob.

 

 

I know it is easier to stay fit than get fit but I still let it go.

I am annoyed with myself.

I had to walk the top half of Toy's hill, my quads cramped up big style.

 

 

However, I did it, I am only 20 minutes down on my old time and it is a start.

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That's it, summer project is building a new barbecue.

 

And I agree with paraffin/firelighters. If you can't start a barbecue without them, get the *fruitcage* out of the garden and away from the tongs until you can.

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I am terrible at brick work.

Terrible.

 

I made a brick BBQ, it is horrendous.

I made it have too much ventilation so it gets so hot you can smelt iron on it.

Every time I use it I lose my arm hair.

 

However.

 

I just put the food a bit farther away and it cooks perfectly.

 

Do you have a starting chimney or do you use kindling or something else?

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That sir, is a charge spoon; it is as comfortable as an armchair.

 

As long as your *albartroth* bones are the same width as the saddle then you are fine.

It is more comfortable if there is only muscle between the bones and the seat.  Fat makes it painful.

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Yeah, people buy really soft, wide, gel saddles thinking they will be more comfortable but they sink into the padding and spread their weight onto their whole undercarriage area.

That puts a lot of pressure on the stinker's bridge area and causes pain and makes your cock go to sleep.

Plus an unnecessarily wide saddle chafes the inner thighs.

 

Many manufacturers make saddles in different widths so that you can have the sit bones properly supported.

 

The front bit isn't really needed at all, it just allows you to control the bike with your thighs and guides you onto the seat.

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Im doing "internal engine components" revision for an exam I have to take next week..

 

It's surprisingly relaxing and it's all clicking pretty well :) really does help to be doing it practically "on the job" alongside the theory, I can visualise everything much easier. If only uni had've been like this in the first place!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Speaking of projects I've sorted my summer project. An arduino controlled garden for chilli plants and maybe some of my favourite herbs.

 

Something to monitor moisture (and ideally automatically introduce water from a resevoir) when needed, PH, maybe some sensors for specific nutrient levels if I can source them, run a timed lamp/heater and send notifications through to my phone.

 

Interested in harvesting some herbs and spices myself and teching it up interests me. Seen an awesome hybrid herb garden and aquarium (it's own little ecosystem) but it's the size of a chest of drawers and hate to think how much it costs.

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