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How To Get Women...

Blinkme323

By Blinkme323,
in Humor and Jokes

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Thechom

Thechom

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Can I just add, its hekka easy to say things over the internet.

 

I'm the Pope... But wait, Im not the pope at all, I was just saying it. And these "new tips" seem to be the same advice given everywhere.

The only thing you really need is a wonderful thing called Rohypnol!

The losers friend.

 

(The above post was satire and I, or indeed the fine folks at ArniesAirsoft, in no way condone the terrible practice of drugging women for sexual conquest) hee hee that was fun.

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doc_newstead

doc_newstead

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Pffft.

 

If you like that, wait until you see my Other Arms... Oh, I see you like Ops vests? Well this one has LBE bands on the retaining straps babe. Go ahead and touch them, it's Cordura... Ooh, that's right, feel that D-ring...

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Blinkme323

Blinkme323

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Errgh, its killing me to see my older brother get chumped by this girl. He looks a lot like me and some girls told him he could be a model, but he was never real popular with girls. He didn't go to the proms.

 

I have been giving him some tips and he was a little bit better for a while. He went on a few dates with some alright chicks, maybe 8's. However, he is reverting back to his old self again.

 

He pretty much dropped the other girls for this one girl who isn't that great really. A 7 at best imo and not really my type at all. As if this case of one-itus wasn't bad enough, he has such bad tendencies toward her. Basically, he is the opposite of how I say to act in this thread. He adores her and compliments her like none other, and he buys everything for her.

 

When they go out to eat, she doesn't even reach for the check anymore. It is automatic. He spends hours on the phone with her and sees her every night. Get a load of these 2 calls. Yesterday, she calls at like 7AM and starts bitching about why he didn't come over last night. He apologized, but I would have been like, "Well it's not easy juggling school, work, you, and my other girl friends."

 

What happened today was just over the top though. She said she was at work and needs him to take her cat to the vet for shots when he gets done school. He ended up paying for it too. My god, I would have just burst out laughing and hung the phone up on her.

 

He has absolutely no hand in the relationship anymore. I wonder how long it will be before she goes back with her old bf that she always talks about (in front of him too). That leash is getting tighter and tighter.

 

It is sickening really. At least it reminds me of how Not to act. He is over her house as we speak. I told him he is pretty much screwed at this point. His only shot is if he tries to break up with her and tells her things are not working out. It might work, but he is too much of a wimp to try it.

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Blinkme323

Blinkme323

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Ok, of you don't drop this numbering women *beep*, I'm going to get uncharacteristically ###### off with you.

 

:zorro:

 

I can't describe women when posting on the internet without assigning numbers. I should really get treated for it. Unless... I post pics instead so you can decide for yourself. That should keep you and your hand some company on those lonely nights, sledge. :P

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Lance Jackass

Lance Jackass

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Are we working on the assumption here that only girls over "8" are worth bothering with and that they have flawless personalities? Also is any girl under a "5" in looks not worth bothering with just because she's not pretty/slaggish?

 

A bit materialistic aren't we?

 

Well i'm off to (chicken out of) asking that girl out. I may even have a wash ecspecially. i hope she "digs" acne <3

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Dafool

Dafool

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If you followed my last thread, you would have seen that I went from a shy and reserved kid who doesn't have a GF to a complete ladies man in the course of about a month. I mean now, I can literally pick up any girl I see within minutes. I have gotten a lot of pm's asking my "secret". Some guys think it is phermones, lmao.

 

Well, the Arnie's community is mostly comprised of single men, so I decided to just share my methods here. Bear with me though, there is a lot of information to give. I'll try to keep this post updated and my thread clean. I ask that you do not flame unless you are willing to read the whole post, avoid asking the same questions I already answered in this post, and don't flood my pm box.

 

Trust me on this one; do not tell your friends about these tips. You'll be one of the few people who are good around women, so you don't want to let this get out. Do not show them this thread. It is a privledge, not a right.

 

Before I start, I want to inform you on something. This guide is focused on getting women who are at least an 8.5 or better. Most of these techniques will not work on girls that are just "cute". From my experiences, girls in the 9-9.5 range respond best to this stuff.

 

I guess the first rule of thumb, as with most things, is to be confident. This is fairly obvious, so you shouldn't have any trouble. Just remember, no girl is out of your league unless you think she is. You need to elevate your confidence to extremely high levels.

 

I know some of you might be thinking that you can't land a girl that is a 9, but you have to get that out of your head. I guarantee you that you will be able to get just about any girl you want if you can perfect these techniques (easy) and are decent looking.

 

While looks my get a girl interested in you, they will not carry you. I'd rate myself around an 8.5, but physical appearance is rarely a factor unless you are absolutely hideous. Just keep up on hygiene basically. Make sure your teeth are white, wear nice clothes, shower daily, etc. Try to work out if you can and get your haircut around every 3 weeks. I find that women like shorter hair and shaved facial hair, but it's up to you. Don't worry about what they think.

 

Now onto the meat of the tips. For most of you, these will go against your basic instincts. The thing you have to realize is that you can't be intimidated by women. I laugh everytime I think about how I used to be scared to ask a girl out. A little bit of confidence goes a long way. You don't need to brag or anything. Just play it cool.

 

When you approach a girl, don't used a canned opener or try to flirt with her too much. Hot girls are used to chumps hitting on them all day. Just treat her like she is a friend. If she sees that you aren't too interested in her, you'll try to chase you a little bit. Its more fun to chase then it is to date a pushover.

 

I know it can be hard for guys to approach random girls, or even ones they know. I usually just make eye contact with them first from about 15ft away. If they look back (which they most likely will), don't look away. Maintain eye contact and give her a smile. As soon as she smiles back (once again, they almost always will), walk up to her. You don't have to say anything genious. A simple, "Hey, what's up." will do. Try to crack a joke about something if you can, but don't force it. Here is one I pulled last week:

 

Me: So I see you shop at Abercombrie and Fitch

Her: Yup, all the time.

Me: I actually used to model for them for a while.

Her: Really? (showing interest)

Me: Yeah, that's me on the front of the bag.

Her: (Checks it out, then laughs)

Me: Aww, I swear I was on there yesterday.

Her: I am sure (smirking)

 

The biggest tip I can give is to never compliment her. If she is hot, most guys will hit on her non stop. You don't need to inflate her ego anymore. In fact, take negative hits if you can. Make fun of her for going tanning (works really well) or act all worried and then say a strand of her hair is out of place. If you get her laughing, she's pretty much yours already.

 

Make sure you keep you voice strong while talking calmly. Don't sweat it. Most girls are actually pretty nice and respect you for having the nerve to just approach them. I have never been blown off before. If a girl does this, she isn't worth your time anyway.

 

Following with the other tip, don't buy her anything either. If you go out to lunch on a date, have her pay half. Every guy I know pays for all of the girl's stuff. This is the biggest mistake you can make. Would you pay for your buddy to eat with you? Didn't think so. My brother still has to learn this one. He bought this girl a dozen roses on Valentine's Day after seeing her for a week. She ended up "just wanting to be friends" and screwed him out of cash only.

 

It really boils down to just being a man. Don't agree with everything she says. Do you really want to her about what her best friend said to some guy? If she asks for a small favor, you can do it for her sometimes, but don't always go along. For example, if she asks you to hold her bag while she fixes her hair, say something like, "Would you also like some wine and crackers?" in a sarcastic voice. Or even better, say "Do I look like (insert chump's name here)."

 

Unless you are absolutely in love with the girl, don't be afraid to associate with other girls. It should be rare that you are seeing less than 3 girls at a time. You can even joke with her about it. When a girl called me asking why I didn't stop over one night, I said "Sorry, it's just hard to juggle school, work, you, and my other girl friends." She might even be more attracted since there will be a "buzz" about you and she'll want to chasey you. This is especially easy in high school. If a popular girl gets ignored for a little bit, she'll be all over you. I had one

 

There are exceptions when you should compliment a girl though. If you go to the prom or something and she is really excited about, you have to compliment her. Just shake your head in disbelief and say something like "You look awesome." Speak what you are feeling. As always, you can never plan what to say. Your convo will never go the way you plan it. Btw. she'll also really appreciate it when you tell her how amazing she is because you almost never hit on her.

 

Women are attracted to guys who are perceived to be busy. Never call a girl more than 3 times a week and make sure she calls you at least twice as much as you call her. Keep the phone conversations short. Just say that you have to leave once it is about 5 minutes in. Be very vague, they love the mystery behind it.

 

Make sure that you never ask a girl for her phone number or ask her on a date. Your goal is to make her offer it to you. Psychologically, she'll feel more attracted to you if she gives you her phone number without you even asking. The line I use most of the time is this, "Well (name), you seem like a lot of fun to be around, we should hang out sometime." If you are feeling cocky, you can even replace the last part with, "... you should hang out with me some time."

 

9/10 times, she'll give you her number right after that. If she just says yeah without giving you her number and you really like her, you can try this but it is risky. "How do you want to get in touch then. I mean I am seeing your mom (or sister) Thursday night if you want to tag along." Voice tone is important here.

 

On the phone, use a similar technique. Imply that you are going somewhere and that she should join you. If she says no (unlikely), you are showing her that you would still go there anyway. Don't ever ask her to go out on a date unless the relationship has been steady for a few months. If you want, you can ask her what her schedule is like during the week so she can't really turn you down since you know she is free that day. Also, never call on a Friday or Saturday because she will most likely have plans to go out already.

 

I'll stop here in attempt to keep this post as focused as possible. I just wasted 40 minutes on it, so I hope you guys put it to good use. Read it, let it digest, and try to snatch some girls over the weekend. There's millions out there, so start practicing now. I bet that you can get the # of at least one 8.5-9 if you try it. I am sure there will be some questions, so I'll expand on the subject in my replies. Good luck guys. Pretty soon, you'll be a pro at it. There is nothing like winning a bet with your friend to hook up with a hot girl and get her number within 5 minutes.

Cliff notes: Go pimp it

 

 

 

*Keeps eye contact with Blinki, walks up*

 

Dafool- What's up ? By the way, you seem to have no breasts.

 

*Dafool laughs*

 

We should hang out sometime. We can go for a Donkey ride up in the Alps.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LAnce ! The next time you go to the Health Shop, and she asks " is there anything else ? "

 

Reply with "YES ! naked lunch ! I would love naked lunch ! "

 

Then rip of your pants and dance a bongo dance in her honour.

If she calls the police, you've done a good job :P

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HaVoC

HaVoC

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I can't describe women when posting on the internet without assigning numbers. I should really get treated for it. Unless... I post pics instead so you can decide for yourself. That should keep you and your hand some company on those lonely nights, sledge.  :P

Elisha003.jpg

 

10.

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Jammy_Stuff

Jammy_Stuff

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The girls take one look at my RAID pack and they're all over me, but thanks anyway.

 

Yeah, that's right honey, and I've got a CIRAS at home, too.

 

I hate to be the one that tells you HaVoC but it's not a good thing when they laugh at you and say "What do you think you are? A soldier?"

 

Shame you didn't get anything from that red head though. She was a good kisser :unsure:

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