Pinkfloyd Posted February 16, 2008 Report Share Posted February 16, 2008 one of these days one of these Telemarketers are gonna phone me up and all i'm gonna end up doing is screaming down the phone "RED SAUCE ON PAAAASSSSSTTTTAAAAAA!!!!!!" and then hang up Lol, that'll be a good one I mostly get real people where I am, especially for political calls. I only get prerecorded messages when it's something like a product being advertised. Link to post Share on other sites
ruzzz Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 One of our phones at work has the same number as a pizza company if you reverse two digits. My favorite is to take all the details of their order, ask them to confirm that is all they want, then tell them as they are our 1000th customer this month, their pizza is free, remeber to tell the driver that!. I then then phone their order through correctly. One day I'm gonna go round to an someone who I do this to and watch the fire works. With telemarketers I make them feel they are about to enter a hitchcock movie. Them : hello sir can I interest you in double glazing ......etc Me. Hang on, double glazing. .....double glazing.... ( while thumbing through a phone book ) ...... ok the response is the Eagle flys west at 0612.... Repeat the eagle flys west at 0612. Then: Er... double glazing ...windows Me: Oh ####!, ( to someone off phone ) its a code 21:19. You mean you really are trying to sell double glazing....####..... ####... Forget this number, forget this call and if you are a religous person start praying now!!! and hang up Link to post Share on other sites
Skarclaw Posted February 24, 2008 Report Share Posted February 24, 2008 I recall some guy posting here about how his friend who worked in telemarketing used to come home crying because of the abuse she received from irate people on the other end of the phone. In short, if your reaction does not drive the telemarketer to tears, you have failed. Link to post Share on other sites
Royal-Air-Force Posted February 24, 2008 Report Share Posted February 24, 2008 In short, if your reaction does not drive the telemarketer to tears, you have failed. Bhahahahaha... You bad bad man. Sigged. And yet.....its so true. Rich. Link to post Share on other sites
Pinkfloyd Posted February 25, 2008 Report Share Posted February 25, 2008 I got another one today, this time people advertising some kind of lawn care service. I stop the man half way thru his first sentance. It turns out I was in the middle of guitar practice, so I unplugged my headphones (that I use so I dont annoy the dormmates) cranked the amp and hit C. The guy tried to continue to talk and so I hit another few notes after placing the phone on speaker. He didnt seem to take a hint so I just started playing some Alter Bridge. Sad thing is he listened to it.... I hate telemarketers, the foiled my plan that time. He was on the line after I finished playing the intro to "Down to my Last"... I had to tell him to stuff it the old fashioned way... Link to post Share on other sites
sandstorm Posted February 25, 2008 Report Share Posted February 25, 2008 Back in Good Old Days, or maybe even today, with slight twist... It could have been fun to respond to any telemarketers calls by reciting a long litany of numbers in dead monotonous voice, using Russian. These days, to get them scared one could use either chinese or arabic... Just some random numbers, like they'd have called to a numbers station. Link to post Share on other sites
Hedganian Posted February 25, 2008 Report Share Posted February 25, 2008 Reading through some of this, I almost feel sorry for the guy on the phone - I mean, he's just trying to do his job. Okay, it's a *beep* job and should be banned, but that's not his fault, he just needs to feed his kids (or his crack habit, either way) Doesn't stop it being funny or stop me taking notes to use on the next guy who calls me trying to sell me something that I blatantly don't want. Link to post Share on other sites
Pinkfloyd Posted February 25, 2008 Report Share Posted February 25, 2008 Reading through some of this, I almost feel sorry for the guy on the phone - I mean, he's just trying to do his job. Okay, it's a *beep* job and should be banned, but that's not his fault, he just needs to feed his kids (or his crack habit, either way) Doesn't stop it being funny or stop me taking notes to use on the next guy who calls me trying to sell me something that I blatantly don't want. Yeah, the only reason I push them around so much is because I think it's fun and I'm beligerant like that Link to post Share on other sites
James Kelly Posted February 26, 2008 Report Share Posted February 26, 2008 Reading this makes me wish that I wasn't signed up on the do not call list here in the states. The most fun that we can have over here is by calling the customer service numbers on the back of snack foods. Link to post Share on other sites
Carter Posted March 8, 2008 Report Share Posted March 8, 2008 Consider yourself lucky, I'm on the do no call list and they still call the house! Link to post Share on other sites
Pinkfloyd Posted March 9, 2008 Report Share Posted March 9, 2008 Consider yourself lucky, I'm on the do no call list and they still call the house! Actually, same. They just spam my dorm I think is the problem. I can't wait for the next batch of political calls... i've thought up some new material... Link to post Share on other sites
kernowash Posted April 16, 2008 Report Share Posted April 16, 2008 Me yesterday caller:"Hi this is talk talk calling, can I speak to Mr.smith please?" Me: who did you say it was? Caller: Its talk talk sir Me: Ahhhhh f**k, I thought you where my ex-girlfriend, got really excited then, havent spoken to her for three years Caller: No sorry sir it is talk talk, is Mr.Smith there Me: See I always wait for her to call, Because I'm not allowed to call her anymore because of the silly little cat thing Caller: sorry? Me: Well....I kinda .....I was playing with it ......I didnt mean for its head to fall off, and the best place I could think to put it was on her bed. It didnt help that when I wiped the blood of my hands on her wall it somehow spelt "B***H" Caller: Sir, we will call back at a better time *dial tone* Link to post Share on other sites
billytehbob Posted April 16, 2008 Report Share Posted April 16, 2008 Thats gold man! Link to post Share on other sites
SimonTB Posted April 16, 2008 Report Share Posted April 16, 2008 My friends grandma asks them if they've ever tried working for a phonesex company, and tells them that they have a great voice for it when they say no. Link to post Share on other sites
Superkenster Posted April 16, 2008 Report Share Posted April 16, 2008 I like saying hang on ill just get my mother or father or something like that. Come back 4 hours later and say sorry we are not interested and hang up. Link to post Share on other sites
Kraut Posted April 16, 2008 Report Share Posted April 16, 2008 I tell them yes I'm interested and let them do their spiel for a minute or so, then yell "OH MY GOD!" and hang up. Link to post Share on other sites
FallenGuard Posted April 22, 2008 Report Share Posted April 22, 2008 Pinkfloyd, the one about Virgins was very funny. Especially the Punch Line Link to post Share on other sites
Spedz Posted April 22, 2008 Report Share Posted April 22, 2008 Don't say that! It'll bring him back... Link to post Share on other sites
cafemondo Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 My latest one from some overseas call center ran like this ring ring 'hello, my name is blah blah sales pitch' I cut across with 'Are you going to give me money?' 'What?' Are you going to give me some mofo money? 'What? No, never!' Then why ring me up Im busy? 'The reason is .' Never mind all that sh*t mate send me some dollars to my paypal accont, yeah? 'What?' DOLLARS, DOLLARS to my PAYPAL 'Ok thank you sir' Hangs up on me. Its working well so far, the trick is to just cut straight across the pitch and start demanding money. Link to post Share on other sites
darkchild130 Posted April 26, 2008 Report Share Posted April 26, 2008 i pretend im interested for 10 seconds then carefully lay the phone on the table. when i pick it up ten minutes later they have always gone. Darkchild Link to post Share on other sites
supportgunner Posted April 26, 2008 Report Share Posted April 26, 2008 Me yesterday caller:"Hi this is talk talk calling, can I speak to Mr.smith please?" Me: who did you say it was? Caller: Its talk talk sir Me: Ahhhhh f**k, I thought you where my ex-girlfriend, got really excited then, havent spoken to her for three years Caller: No sorry sir it is talk talk, is Mr.Smith there Me: See I always wait for her to call, Because I'm not allowed to call her anymore because of the silly little cat thing Caller: sorry? Me: Well....I kinda .....I was playing with it ......I didnt mean for its head to fall off, and the best place I could think to put it was on her bed. It didnt help that when I wiped the blood of my hands on her wall it somehow spelt "B***H" Caller: Sir, we will call back at a better time *dial tone* I'm sure that this really happened. We all believe you. Link to post Share on other sites
Lidmh Posted April 26, 2008 Report Share Posted April 26, 2008 This is why I only have a cell phone. Link to post Share on other sites
Xander.P Posted April 26, 2008 Report Share Posted April 26, 2008 one i use all the time with them is just carry on saying why to everything they say the best one was someone rang up and said woman:hello sir would you like faster broadband me:why Woman:so you can access information faster me:why woman:because ... some load of balls that makes no sense me:why woman:i just told you me:why woman:because you asked me to me:why woman:i dont know you just asked me:why woman:you were intrigued about our wireless me:why woman:im sorry sir i'm gonna have to call you some other time hangs up genius Link to post Share on other sites
kernowash Posted April 27, 2008 Report Share Posted April 27, 2008 I'm sure that this really happened. We all believe you. Haha, say what you wish!!! And who elected you voice of all of Arnies? Speak for yourself unless you cannot get over your arogance that makes you belive you opinion applies to all. Link to post Share on other sites
Carter Posted May 6, 2008 Report Share Posted May 6, 2008 Actually, it applies to at least two people... The "why" technique sounds very enjoyable. Link to post Share on other sites
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