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Catchv22

No Sex Tonight

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I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so

much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have

never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

 

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into

bed.

 

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel

like it, I just want you to hold me."

 

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

 

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me

to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look

by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in

the bedroom?"

 

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

 

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with

her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big

unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on

several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to

take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to

compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We

went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond

earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was

one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because

she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play

tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all

dear, let's go to the cashier."

 

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel

like it."

 

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled

WHAT?"

 

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're

just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy

your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she

was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and

not for the things I buy you?"

 

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

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:rofl: you know, when my girlfriend read that, the pained "hummph" i got in response was nearly as funny as the joke, and when i got the warning look it made me laugh harder . . .

 

:( apparently i`m not having sex tonight either

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And that coming from you, the one tricked just now over MSN to go into Manchester to meet a sexually-depreaved girl :P

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:rofl: you know, when my girlfriend read that, the pained "hummph" i got in response was nearly as funny as the joke, and when i got the warning look it made me laugh harder . . .

 

:( apparently i`m not having sex tonight either

:rofl: Maybe you can reach a compromise. ;)

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:rofl: you know, when my girlfriend read that, the pained "hummph" i got in response was nearly as funny as the joke, and when i got the warning look it made me laugh harder . . .

 

:( apparently i`m not having sex tonight either

 

Come on, what's not to like? I'm a girl and I thought that was hilarious!

 

I agree that sex doesn't have to be at night either. What, did you think breakfast in bed was the best way to wake your girlfriend up in the morning? ;)

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Come on, what's not to like? I'm a girl and I thought that was hilarious!

 

I agree that sex doesn't have to be at night either. What, did you think breakfast in bed was the best way to wake your girlfriend up in the morning?  ;)

Are you hoping Ghost_Rider will read that :o

"remembers that fact for later" :rolleyes:

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If i may refer to both halves, would you care to explain?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I guess the second part means you are keeping that information in mind the next time you want to wake your girlfriend up?

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If i may refer to both halves, would you care to explain?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I guess the second part means you are keeping that information in mind the next time you want to wake your girlfriend up?

with the first bit i am implying that you want you boyfriend or H_M to wake you up in such a way :P so i would watch out at AG05 ;)

 

For the second bit, i havn't go a girlfriend :( but i was saying i would remember that incase i got one <_<

Do i get a spank for what i said in the first bit :P you like pervy don't you ;)

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with the first bit i am implying that you want you boyfriend or H_M to wake you up in such a way :P

Yes please... ;)

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with the first bit i am implying that you want you boyfriend or H_M to wake you up in such a way :P so i would watch out at AG05 ;)

 

For the second bit, i havn't go a girlfriend :( but i was saying i would remember that incase i got one <_<

Do i get a spank for what i said in the first bit :P you like pervy don't you ;)

 

EXCUSE ME! BUT WHEN DID HAVOC_MAN GET BROUGHT INTO THIS!

 

seriously tho, I am Ghost_Rider's and Ghost_Rider's alone, so anybody trying anything at AG05 will be severely dealt with.

 

 

and no, I don't mean a spanking!

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I agree that sex doesn't have to be at night either. What, did you think breakfast in bed was the best way to wake your girlfriend up in the morning? 

 

Alas some who actualy agrees with me on this one! i actually prefeer doing it during the day coz well in the night its just hmm every one does it during the night so in the day its more risque

oh and Hardcore_Mitsuko i found this in the................. yellow pages

fan boy remover up for hire willing to do mundane chores (clonking them at the back of the head with a rather large stick) ato piking the poor little fan boys when they realise that there getting nowhere and putting 'em in the bin

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