HaVoC Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 No, you hit him on the head! Naughty moose! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Quoted for being Faulty... *runs* Link to post Share on other sites
rizzo Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 Just don't mention the war! I mentioned it once, but i think i got away with it! Link to post Share on other sites
HaVoC Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 Starlings! *shoots window* Link to post Share on other sites
joeking27 Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 Sarge: "Hey Simmons! What's the name of that Mexican lizard? Eat's all the goats?" Simmons: "Uh, that would be the Chupacabre, sir." Sarge: "Hey Grif! Chupa-thingy, how 'bout that? I like it. Got a ring to it." <{POST_SNAPBACK}> It definately looks like a puma. Link to post Share on other sites
michael_collins Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 This wallpaper is terrible. One of us will have to go. *Attributed to Wilde on his deathbed* Link to post Share on other sites
guinnessman Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 ROFLMAO at this thread, great stuff!!!! Missed the best one from FMJ though: <Doorgunner on a chopper is shooting up rice farmers as he flies overhead. Joker looks at him questioningly.> Doorgunner: 'If they run, they're VC! If they stand still, they're well disciplined VC!' Joker: 'How can you shoot women, children?' Doorgunner: 'It's easy! Ya just don't lead 'em as much!' And from Gates of Fire, a (brilliant!) novel about the battle of Thermoyplae: Greek soldier (trying to scare his audience): 'The Persian archers are so numerous that their volleys block out the sun!' Dienekes: 'Good. Then we'll have our battle in the shade.' Humour from my uncle during his time in Northern Ireland with the army: Over the radio: Patrol leader: 'This is Charlie One-Five. Contact. Wait out.' Overly Officious Watch Officer: 'All callsigns, be advised do not declare a Contact unless you really mean it, over.' Patrol Leader: 'This is Charlie One-Five. Okay, some f*****'s shooting at me.' 'Woohooo! De-fault! The two best words in the English language!' Homer J Simpson Dennis Leary, No Cure for Cancer: 'This sums up the whole animal rights movement. Don't eat the tuna fish! Why not? Because the dolphins get caught up in the nets! What about the tuna fish? Well **** them they taste good!' Link to post Share on other sites
Siciro Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 "The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile." You might be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater. Mike Myers (Austin Powers: Goldmember) No, this is me in a nut shell; Help! I'm in a nut shell! how did i get into this nutshell? what kind of nut has a shell like this one? When I get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset... people die! Mike Myers (International Man Of Mystery) It's all fun and games until someone gets shot in the leg. Armageddon I've never really killed anyone before. I mean I've dropped bombs on Baghdad, but never face to face. I don't know what the big deal is, I really don't. Broken Arrow If people see money on the table, and no-one's around. they think their being watched. Clerks Dazed and Confused -I'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor, insignificant preamble to somethin' else. -George Washington was in a cult, and the cult was into aliens man! -What are you looking at? Wipe that face off your head, b*tch -Didja ever look at a dollar bill man? There's some spooky sh*t goin' on there. And it's green too! -That's what I like about these high school girls, I keep getting older, they stay the same age. -You know that Julie girl? Loves you. You want her? Gotta play it cool, you know. Like, if she asks you if you want a ride, you say, "No, I've got my own ride, but maybe I'll see you there." Sounds stupid, doesn't it? It works. Ghostbusters -I love this plan. I'm excited to be a part of it! -Dogs and cats, living together. Mass hysteria. There are a ###### load of quotes out there man!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Rocketman Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 i dunno if this has been quoted already or not... in fact, i'd be surprised if it hasn't: "the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled, was convicing the world that he didn't exist" "How do you shoot the Devil in the back? what if you miss?" "She'll flip ya. Flip ya for real." - The Usual Suspects btw, does anybody know what McManus was talking abt when he says "Oswald was a fag" Link to post Share on other sites
Banzai Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 "What do we need some stupid fu**ing rope for huh?" "Make like a tree and ge' the f**k out!" "F**K .... *albatross*!" Boondock saints Link to post Share on other sites
Pato Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 What does the word boondock in Boondock Saints stand for? Link to post Share on other sites
Banzai Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 Brooklyn, im pretty sure Or boston but i think its Brooklyn The Boondock saints was a movie, btw Link to post Share on other sites
Pato Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 Brooklyn, im pretty sure Or boston but i think its Brooklyn The Boondock saints was a movie, btw <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Yeah, I know that it was a movie. And couple of friends and I were just wondering what the name of the movie means. I thought that boondock is just the name of a certain dock/harbour where they live. ??? (In german that movie is called "The bloody path of God". I have no clue why) Link to post Share on other sites
HaVoC Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 "She'll flip ya. Flip ya for real." - The Usual Suspects <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Quoted for pure greatness. *watches film again* Link to post Share on other sites
Sledge Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 Darwin Mayflower: If Da Vinci was alive today, he'd be eating microwave sushi, naked, in the back of a Cadillac with the both of us. Link to post Share on other sites
DarkLite Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 "Clearly I am superfluous to this entire operation, ably commanded as it is by a droid who was created purely to clean lavatories! So I really don't know why you're telling me all this, Captain Bogbot!" - Rimmer Link to post Share on other sites
Hissing_Sid Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 From Zulu... Michael Caine: "Here they come. Fire at will!" Glynn Edwards: "That's very nice of him." Link to post Share on other sites
FeeFyeFoeFum Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 Pirates of the Caribbean: Commodore Norrington: "You are the worst pirate that I have ever heard of...." Captain Jack Sparrow: "Ah, but at least you have heard of me...." Under Siege 2: "Assumption is the mother of all f**k ups" Moonlighting: Maddie: "Adderson, why is that man wobbling like that?" David: "Gravity?" Man falls face first onto floor David "Man thats got to hurt, falling on your nose like that!" David: "Do bees bee? Do bears bear? Is the pope catholic?" Link to post Share on other sites
Rikkster Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 Grapes of Wrath episode of Black Books "Everything's covered in filth! Look! (points phone receiver around the room) The whole place is a complete mess. Can't find anything. Right now I'm eating scrambled eggs... with a comb... from a shoe!" <cleaner takes notes> "Congregation of dead spiders in the corner... with beans" Link to post Share on other sites
HaVoC Posted January 19, 2005 Report Share Posted January 19, 2005 From 'Peep Show'. This is shown on Channel 4 on Monday nights at about 11:30pm. If you've never seen it, shame on you... WARNING: These may not be that funny out of context, but we'll see... *main character, Mark, trying to win his ex-girlfriend back over after she finds out he's been spying on her* "We have something special together, not my words, yours! We shouldn't risk that just because I've been spying on you!" *Jeremy on being invited to a game of strip-card-games, and watching a rather fit girl he likes being...erm...'taken'...by the other guy playing the game* "This is like porn except I can't see anything, I haven't got a hard-on and I want to cry" "Who needs romance when you're doing it up the bum?" *going skinny-dipping for no apparent reason* "I'm pulling your pants down Mark" "F*ck off, just f*ck off Jeremy!" "B*llocks to emoting, I've got my hands on her innards." *after pouring Crunchy Nut Cornflakes on floor* "Hey, those are expensive." *The character Mark has been branded an alcoholic, and is being ridiculed at work. In an attempt to prove that he wasn't in the park just drinking loads of beer...* "It was a picnic! We had three different flavours of crisps!" *Mark now at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, confessing his non-existant 'sins' so the boss can see he's making an effort to put it right...even though he isn't actually alcoholic...* "I stay at home and eat oven chips... out of the bag.... frozen....until I throw up on myself." *Mark throws homeless bloke out of the house. The other main character, Jeremy, is talking to his girlfriend (who has suggested not having sex for as long as possible, in order to 'break the final taboo'), who invited the homeless bloke in, when she realises that Mark kicked him out. She runs off to find the homeless guy, and Jeremy tries to win her over again with the line...* "Touch it...blow it...you can use a tea-towel..." "Is this how easy it is to steal an education? Who's in charge here? The world must be just full of people walking around, and going into rooms, and saying things!" *Mark talking about buying his rival some condoms* "Get him the coloured ones, that way he'll look mildly ridiculous...I win." "I'm hungry, I'm really hungry! You can't make a hungry man do a bungee jump!" AH WHATEVER...JUST GO AND BUY THE DVD. Link to post Share on other sites
Longhairedhippy Posted January 19, 2005 Report Share Posted January 19, 2005 :Homosexuality in Russia is a crime, and the penalty is 7 years in prison, locked up with all the other men. There is a three year waiting list." - Anton Chekov Link to post Share on other sites
Antagon Posted January 19, 2005 Report Share Posted January 19, 2005 1-800-DOCTORB The "B" is for "Bargain"! Link to post Share on other sites
Banzai Posted January 19, 2005 Report Share Posted January 19, 2005 "Shop SMART. Shop S-Mart" Link to post Share on other sites
DarkLite Posted January 19, 2005 Report Share Posted January 19, 2005 "GARWIBBLYWIBBLYWIBBLYWIBBLYWIBBLYWIBBLYPHOT" - DarkLite Link to post Share on other sites
Banzai Posted January 19, 2005 Report Share Posted January 19, 2005 "I challenge you to a duel my good sir!" Link to post Share on other sites
Redcap Posted January 19, 2005 Report Share Posted January 19, 2005 Officer issuing orders to a marksman, pointing to a man climbing the fence of the stoage depot: "One Round. That Man." - Threads Link to post Share on other sites
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