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Favourite Quotes


rhino

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"I'm totally over Susy!"

"Oh...right...well...I suppose that's why you've written her name in every egg under the Word Bird!"

 

*after Jeremy's wife finds out about his affair, because he told her, he asks for advice from Mark*

"Do you think if I plead and plead and plead...things will go back to normal?"

"Honestly...?"

"Yeah...quite honestly...not super-honestly..."

"Yeah...it'll all be fine. Super..."

 

- Peep Show

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I LOVE this one:

"You're going to regret that for the rest of your life!!! *pauses*... Both seconds of it!" -Demolition man-

 

 

Driver: "Which way should I go?

Chinese passenger: L... L... L... L... L...

*Driver takes a left turn*

Chinese passenger: LIGHT!!!

-Herman Finkers- (Dutch comedian)

 

Ghost of Church: It's a friggin indignity!!! You HAVE to bury my body!

Tucker: With what??? All we have are these pistols! What would you have us do??? Shoot you a grave?! Besides, What's the worst that could happen?

Caboose: Look! birds... ... Why are they flying around in circles???

-Rvb- (not precise, but close enough)

 

*Dead clown in desert*

Vulture: tastes funny

-funny pic of the net-

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From CSI:

 

Gil Grissom: To get to the evidence, we may have to destroy the evidence.

Catherine Willows: Do you get these haikus out of a book, or do they just come to you?

 

Dr. Robbins: You say tomato...I say cause of death.

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One of my best:

 

ME: "Alex, that made it look like you were wanking. You know, with the motions and all (makes wanking motions) like this."

 

Principal walks by, stops and stares at me doing wanking motions.

 

ME: "Oh hello sir, me and my friend here were discussing the erm...intellectual and...moral benefits of masturbation."

 

Principal walks away.

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I've asked you as frank, and ive asked you as General Hummel, now you're being given your last chance by a man with a gun.- Ed Harris, the rock.

 

Well, my first job was selling doors, door-to-to "bing-bong, would you like to, oh you've got one, never mind"- Bill bailey

 

The wheels on the otter go up and down - Bill bailey

 

The laminated book of dreams...to catch the tears of joy- have a guess

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