HaVoC Posted April 1, 2005 Report Share Posted April 1, 2005 I'm not going to type in detail as it hurts like hell to sit down, but for the last 3 days I've been stuck in an NHS hospital having puss drained from an abscess on my backside, basically. One general anaesthetic operation later, and I'm pumped full of drugs, and feel like sh*t. The wound, which is left open to drain fully, has to be packed full of 'aquacell' every 2 or 3 days, which hurts like the end of the world. Basically, it's an open wound, an inch long and an inch deep, being held open and packed full of some gauze-like stuff. Without local anaesthetic, which annoys me. Basically, when it was done yesterday, it took morphine to touch the pain... So, basically, pity me. Or insult me. Hey, I just needed to get this sh*t off my chest... Link to post Share on other sites
Connery Posted April 1, 2005 Report Share Posted April 1, 2005 So wait...how'd you get a hemmoroid in the first place? Link to post Share on other sites
HaVoC Posted April 1, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2005 It wasn't a hemorroid in the end. It was an 'anal abscess', which is basically a gland or something that gets infected due to (probably) a hair growing in on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Connery Posted April 1, 2005 Report Share Posted April 1, 2005 Ah. ... ... ...Go into space. The Zero-G atmosphere should help you. Link to post Share on other sites
sp00n Posted April 1, 2005 Report Share Posted April 1, 2005 Yeah, all that spam has started to leak out of you. My advice is to just OD on nyquil and sleep for the next couple days. Link to post Share on other sites
FeeFyeFoeFum Posted April 1, 2005 Report Share Posted April 1, 2005 Man, that sounds horrific. I hope the next few days pass quickly and as painlessly as possible for ya. Shudder.... Link to post Share on other sites
HaVoC Posted April 1, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2005 Nope, not painlessly. The wound has to be re-packed tomorrow morning, which basically means trying to pump myself full of whatever they've given me to take home (paracetamol, ibuprofen, di-somethingorother-codeine), none of which really touch the pain, and biting into a pillow trying not to scream. If you think I'm a p*ssy and I'm over-reacting, by the way - I'm not. Link to post Share on other sites
screamin_weasel Posted April 1, 2005 Report Share Posted April 1, 2005 oh dear..........this sounds bad, but terribly funny at the same time. sorry. still, we all know where to aim when we go to Arniegeddon Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy_Harry Posted April 1, 2005 Report Share Posted April 1, 2005 good god man. you have my unreserved empathy. hope your *albartroth* is looking prettier soon Link to post Share on other sites
rhino Posted April 1, 2005 Report Share Posted April 1, 2005 *Looks at Crazy Harry...* *tries not to giggle...* *Fails...* Seriously, HM, hope you get better soon. Link to post Share on other sites
FeeFyeFoeFum Posted April 1, 2005 Report Share Posted April 1, 2005 As a totally unqualified medical professional I prescribe alcohol and joints in large amounts, to be taken regularly. Should help numb the pain somewhat... Link to post Share on other sites
BadAssTronaut Posted April 1, 2005 Report Share Posted April 1, 2005 Dude, was the nurse that looked at your infected *albartroth* fit?... What?... Not a bad booby prize Get better soon dude Link to post Share on other sites
FireFox Posted April 1, 2005 Report Share Posted April 1, 2005 Would this help? Man that has to be horible. Link to post Share on other sites
Soloman Posted April 1, 2005 Report Share Posted April 1, 2005 Hope you get better soon. *cough* *waves hand* *These are not the 'roids your looking for* Link to post Share on other sites
Asso Posted April 1, 2005 Report Share Posted April 1, 2005 Ouch... Hope you get better. Link to post Share on other sites
HaVoC Posted April 1, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2005 Dude, was the nurse that looked at your infected *albartroth* fit?... What?... Not a bad booby prize Get better soon dude <{POST_SNAPBACK}> The one I 'had' for the first 2 days was...let's say...bone-able... The second one I 'had' today reminded me of Barbara from the Royale Family. That's not a good thing... Link to post Share on other sites
Longhairedhippy Posted April 2, 2005 Report Share Posted April 2, 2005 my guess as to the cause? the hospital found out about his spam and quite literally tore him a new one. but seriously, i hope your new butthole closes up soon. Link to post Share on other sites
DarkLite Posted April 2, 2005 Report Share Posted April 2, 2005 Too...much...innuendo...to...be...made... Must...resist... Link to post Share on other sites
gazchap Posted April 2, 2005 Report Share Posted April 2, 2005 That's gotta hurt. My sympathies dude. Still, gives you an excuse to stay in bed all day Link to post Share on other sites
aimpoint Posted April 2, 2005 Report Share Posted April 2, 2005 owch that sounds nice get well soon dude Link to post Share on other sites
Jow Posted April 2, 2005 Report Share Posted April 2, 2005 Sad too hear, funny, but sad. As a totally unqualified medical professional I prescribe alcohol and joints in large amounts, to be taken regularly. Should help numb the pain somewhat... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Alcohol absorbs canaboids. :/ so together the effects will take longer to come on. Link to post Share on other sites
billymak Posted April 4, 2005 Report Share Posted April 4, 2005 mind over matter H_M... you can still spam the forums standing up or in the straddle-horse stance!!!! *plays the you-know-which episode of weebl and bob* *imagining H_M in horse stance in front of the PC... still spamming the forums, completely unaffected by pain or delirium... but spells poorly at time to time due to the offect of the morphines* I think my dad had something similar few years back... not nice... anywho... you'll be more resistant to pain after this... Not that I can do anything to help you but... *buys you a shot of Russian Vodka.... bliyad!* Link to post Share on other sites
BadAssTronaut Posted April 4, 2005 Report Share Posted April 4, 2005 Bet this hurts real bad when you gotta take a *beep* Link to post Share on other sites
Spedz Posted April 4, 2005 Report Share Posted April 4, 2005 oh much pain kinda reminds me when i had hernias when i was 5! Link to post Share on other sites
heavyweps Posted April 4, 2005 Report Share Posted April 4, 2005 I feel sympathy for your pain, admire your candour but at the same time wonder if an anal abcess is a topic for sharing so openly . . . and judging by the sound of the wound, open is the operative word, again my sympathies hope you get better soon Link to post Share on other sites
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