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Japanese campaign to legalise marriage to comic characters


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http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/...characters.html

 

 

Oh

My

God...

 

This is THE most ridiculous thing I've ever read in my life. Not only is it....well..unthinkably stupid, but it ridicules the idea of marriage. I can't decide whether to laugh or cry. Honestly, it just makes me feel appalled.

If you like anime (I don't) that's fine, good for you. But to want to/attempt to legalise a marriage to a FICTIONAL character?? Jesus, what the hell is that about?

 

I know this is more of a rant than anything else, and for that I apologise, but I was stunned into silence when I saw this.

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http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/...characters.html

 

 

Oh

My

God...

 

This is THE most ridiculous thing I've ever read in my life. Not only is it....well..unthinkably stupid, but it ridicules the idea of marriage. I can't decide whether to laugh or cry. Honestly, it just makes me feel appalled.

If you like anime (I don't) that's fine, good for you. But to want to/attempt to legalise a marriage to a FICTIONAL character?? Jesus, what the hell is that about?

 

I know this is more of a rant than anything else, and for that I apologise, but I was stunned into silence when I saw this.

 

*dons smoking jacket and removes pipe from mouth* Which just goes to prove Johnny Foreigner is a very strange creature indeed, what?

 

The mind boggles- not at the concept, but at the sheer logistics.... Surely there will be fewer cartoon tarts/chaps with big doe-eyes than the amount of pasty faced wierdos wanting to marry them....Which'll mean some of the more popular charachters will be polygamous to a factor of several thousand....Big Love was never like this...

 

And what about when you divorce the cartoon *badgeress* for not getting your dinner on the table when you walk in from work?....or because you have video evidence of her being tentacle raped in the latest anime?... Do you have to pay her alimoney or what?

 

*thinks* I reckon I could make a fortune as an Anime Divorce Lawyer.... kerching :D

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Do you only get half of the earnings made while you're married? If not, I'm game if Mickey is.

 

Oh, and for anyone thinking "But Mickey's male...", yes he is. He's also a mouse that can apparently talk, wears shoes and doesn't actually exist, so your point is...?

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*dons smoking jacket and removes pipe from mouth* Which just goes to prove Johnny Foreigner is a very strange creature indeed, what?

 

The mind boggles- not at the concept, but at the sheer logistics.... Surely there will be fewer cartoon tarts/chaps with big doe-eyes than the amount of pasty faced wierdos wanting to marry them....Which'll mean some of the more popular charachters will be polygamous to a factor of several thousand....Big Love was never like this...

 

And what about when you divorce the cartoon *badgeress* for not getting your dinner on the table when you walk in from work?....or because you have video evidence of her being tentacle raped in the latest anime?... Do you have to pay her alimoney or what?

 

*thinks* I reckon I could make a fortune as an Anime Divorce Lawyer.... kerching :D

 

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*dons smoking jacket and removes pipe from mouth* Which just goes to prove Johnny Foreigner is a very strange creature indeed, what?

 

The mind boggles- not at the concept, but at the sheer logistics.... Surely there will be fewer cartoon tarts/chaps with big doe-eyes than the amount of pasty faced wierdos wanting to marry them....Which'll mean some of the more popular charachters will be polygamous to a factor of several thousand....Big Love was never like this...

 

And what about when you divorce the cartoon *badgeress* for not getting your dinner on the table when you walk in from work?....or because you have video evidence of her being tentacle raped in the latest anime?... Do you have to pay her alimoney or what?

 

*thinks* I reckon I could make a fortune as an Anime Divorce Lawyer.... kerching :D

 

This doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of the logistics problem of allowing marriages to fictional characters. At least, if we're assuming that these marriages will be subject to all current marriage laws, as if someone was going to sit there all day seriously looking these things over, then there is much more to consider. We'll do so for the sake of argument.

 

For starters, does the age of the anime character have to be over the age of consent? What happens if the character's age is unknown? What if a character is too young in one arc of an anime, but in later storylines, he or she is older? Must you specify that you wish to marry timeskip Sakura, not her younger self from the first few arcs? If a character has still not passed the age of consent by the end of the series, can one make the argument that enough years have passed since the final anime/manga was published? What about those characters that look nine years old, but are really thousands of years old?

 

That point brings us to magical beings. Can you marry a magical being? If they appear as human, is it enough? What if they are gods, goddesses, angels or demons? What if they're aliens? Can you marry a android? If not, what about a cyborg? If you can marry cyborgs, how much of him or her must be human? And then there's furries. Certainly a catgirl is alright, but where is the line drawn, if at all? What if one wants to marry the cat-form of that girl from the "a cat is fine too" meme? What about Hatsune Miku? Technically she's an anime representation of a computer program, or a "living" metaphor. The same goes for OS tans.

 

You'd have to have an entire bureaucracy staffed by knowledgeable anime fans to handle these cases. What would the job interview be like for a position at the Ministry of Anime Marriages? "Ah, you have five external hard drives worth of anime/manga/hentai? You're hired!"

 

Oh, and as an aside, why limit the marriages to anime/manga? What about video games, books, and television?

 

Now, if you excuse me, I'm off to totally not find out Lammy's age from Um Jammer Lammy.

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I think its fantastic, and a brilliant "one in the eye" for uptight religious morons who believe marriage is 'sanctified'.

 

However, I think that any would-be husband invest in a laminator for those intimate moments...

 

I don't think religion has anything to do with this. Marriage is a legal contract. You can't sign a legal contract with something that for all intents and purpouses doesn't exist.

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I call dibs on Haruhi Suzumiya :P

 

Jokes aside, I laughed so hard when I read the title. IIRC, there was a thread a while back regarding a woman who married the Eiffel Tower, who them proceeded to hump it. Funny thread indeed.

 

Now, this begs the question: Can a single anime character marry more than one person? Surely, there is more than one person that would want a popular character. Now, that also begs the question, is polygamy legal in Japan? :P

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